Mood is the term we use for the emotions that are currently dominant. If you are in a good mood, you might feel happy, joyful, excited, content, proud or any other positive emotion. If you are in a bad mood, the emotions dominating your day will be uncomfortable.
When we say “I am in a … mood”, we imply that this is a state. We phrase it this way because there’s an underlying assumption that we have no control over our mood. This is simply not true. You can choose which mood you want to be in every day of your life. Since your emotions create your reality, you might want to choose your mood deliberately from now on.
Mood creates your reality
Our mood makes the difference between a good or a bad day. Emotions create reality by determining our focus. When a happy and a grumpy person walk along the same street, one notices the birds chirping, the other counts the pieces of trash on the side walk.
Emotions also trigger thoughts in a constant feedback loop so that they reproduce themselves. Happiness, for example, leads to joyful thoughts and happy memories. We then notice other things that make us happy in the present. More happiness and joy. On the other side of the coin are uncomfortable emotions who also reproduce themselves.
Most of us have been on either side at some point in our lives. This is fine. It’s normal to have uncomfortable emotions every now and then. They are important. But there is no need to feel them for longer than is necessary (2min). When it comes to our dominant setting, we want to choose our mood deliberately.
The default setting
Thanks to the negativity bias in society, staying in uncomfortable emotions is easy. Being in a bad mood is even socially acceptable. There is always someone else eager to complain together or exchange an angry rant or two.
So if you find it difficult to believe that, yes, you can choose to be happy every day, this is why. Being in a bad mood has simply become a habit, or your default setting, if you prefer. Choosing to be in a good mood is a new habit. In fact, it’s a Habit for Life, that can improve everything in your life almost immediately.
Yes, you will still experience uncomfortable emotions because they are a part of life. And this is not about toxic positivity. You should never suppress uncomfortable emotions. Take the time to feel them. And then get back to your chosen mood. It’s all about the dominant emotions in your day.
How to choose your mood
Every morning as soon as you wake up ask yourself “what mood do I choose today?” Add a reminder with the question to your alarm or write it on a post-it note. If you wake up already feeling an uncomfortable emotion or if one comes up during your day, give yourself two minutes to feel it and breathe through it. Then get back to the mood you chose.
How do you do that? Shift as quickly as you can into a good mood. What exactly you do depends on you and can be different on different days. For example, some days I use music to shift my mood. I either sing a song or dance or do both.
On other days, I will listen to an uplifting podcast or look at hilarious cat memes. In short, I practice joy. And repeat. Because mood is not about a single emotion. It’s always a combination of different either positive or uncomfortable emotions. So pick whichever positive emotion is easiest for you to practice in the moment.
A few tips
If you still have doubts about changing your mood deliberately, pause and think back. Remember a day that started out great and turned sour? Or the bad day that ended with laughter. That was you shifting from one mood into the other. Now that you know it is possible, you can do this deliberately.
If you still have doubts, a limiting belief might be holding you back. Figure out what it is and change your thoughts on the subject as best as you can. One problem might be that changing your life by focusing on your mood sounds a bit too monumental. Too much pressure.
Lessen that pressure. Only change your mood for today, or even for the next hour. Or ten minutes. Pick an amount of time that does not scare you. Even if it is just for two minutes, re-commit: “I choose to be in a good mood for [today/the next hour/the next five minutes/…]”. Then take the first action that sounds fun.
Happiness and joy are amazing but might be out of reach if you’ve practiced a bad mood for a while. Curiosity, on the other hand, is easier and strong enough to pull you out of any funk. Yes, I’m telling you to go outside and look at a bug, or anything else you might find interesting.
Mood matters
Over time you can change your entire life by changing your mood, one day at a time. How do you feel right now? Is this the mood you want to be in for the rest of the day? If not, decide to change it. Pick a better emotion. Which one? The emotion that is easiest for you.
The way you feel most of the time is a habit. Once you accept that and embrace it, you are free to choose your mood and in doing so you pick the light or the heavy side of life. It really is up to you.