I don’t know about you but for me frustration is ont he negative side of emotions. Frustration makes us feel tense. We breathe quickly or even not at all, because we hold our breath. And if frustration lasts for more than a few minutes, it becomes really… frustrating. Or worse: It turns into anger.
That’s what frustration used to be like for me. But not anymore. We have emotions and feelings to help us lead better lives and once we learn how to actually use our magnificent guidance system we become unstoppable. Frustration is now my favourite emotion because it’s my in-built productivity hack.
Step 1: frustration; step 2: anger
Frustration is an emotion. Muscles tense up. The jaw clenches. We forget to blink. Or breathe. Our heart-rate accelerates and if we don’t do anything about it, frustration very often turns into anger. Ever wanted to scream out loud with frustration? I did and still do sometimes. I imagine myself roaring like Chubaka.
But the reason why it turns into anger is because we are used to ignoring frustration until it is too late. It took me a few tries to even isolate frustration as a separate emotion because it would so often escalate into anger that I didn’t realise I could stop this process. But I can, and so can you.
My favourite productivity hack
Why should you stop wallowing in frustration? It’s nice to bond with others over all the frustrating things going wrong in life, isn’t it? Sure, sure. But what if I told you that you can double, on some days even tripple, your productivity? What if I showed you how I did that by simply listening to frustration?
Come with me on my new typical work day. I want to write and schedule five LinkedIn posts. I’m fairly new to LinkedIn and regular posting so I’ve planned the entire day for this, meaning 6 hours. Why only 6 and not 8? Because that’s how much focused work our brains can handle long-term.
But back to my day. I started with the first post, which went reasonably well. When I moved to the next, I felt a knot forming underneath my left shoulder. That’s where my frustration sits. (More on that below.)
Frustration tells you that something is wrong with the action you are taking right now. Maybe you are:
- taking the wrong action
- need more information/different tools/help to do a good job
- need a break
- don’t want to do this task
- or are doing it wrong and need a new approach.
Alarm bells ringing
Basically, frustration is your alarm telling you that something is wrong. So I stopped immediately to figure out what it was. My second post was too long. I liked what I had written but it wasn’t suitable for this format. Actually, it sounded like a blog post.
Copy, paste and twenty minutes later I had an outline for the next post on my website. Ok. Back to social media. I started the second post from scratch about a different topic and it went well. Third post. Tension. What was wrong? I needed a break.
A cup of tea and a sugar-free cookie later, I was back. This time, writing the third post was easy-peasy. But before I could even start on the fourth there was the tension again! What should I write about? Too many ideas. Good ideas, though. So I outlined two more blog posts. Guided by frustration, I also did some research for the topics and bookmarked a few pages for future use.
Another break and LinkedIn posts four and five practically wrote themselves. It all took me five hours. Should I finish work early? Nope. One of the images I used in a post frustrated me. Search for a better one. I found it and four more images for the other posts. And done, done, done.
Instead of forcing myself to “focus” on those five social media posts, I listened to frustration as soon as felt even the slightest tinge of tension. The result: five social media posts I was happy with, one first draft blog post, two outlines and images all around. The best part: I felt deeply satisfied with my workday.
Unlock the power of frustration
Frustration is here to help you. It’s the emotion that’s supposed to prevent you from getting angry. Or exhausted. Or burned out. You feel frustrated so you can take care of yourself before the situation escalates.
Awesome. So how do you unlock this power? Well, first, you need to figure out what frustration actually feels like. The easiest way? Think of something (or someone) that really frustrates you. Maybe you already feel the tense spot in your body. If not, take three minutes in a quiet place and listen to this guided meditation.
Feel your emotion
If you think it’s tension in your jaw, by the way, I would suggest you take a break and try again later. Gnashing teeth is usually a sign of anger or extreme fear. You want to figure out what comes first so you can avoid the gnashing in future.
Once you know where in your body frustration sits, pay attention to that area throughout the day. At first, you might not notice anything until you are fairly far along, or even already angry. That’s ok. Just notice the tension then and remind yourself that you are building a Life Skill. Just keep on practising. You’re already doing great because you keep on trying.
Once the tension feels obvious, listen to it as often as possible. When you feel frustration, stop immediately. Ask yourself what is wrong. Are you doing the wrong task? Do you need a different approach? Maybe you need more information or help. Or just a break away from your desk. Whatever it is, do it.
A balanced life
Yes, frustration is a wonderful productivity hack and because people are really keen on those that’s what this post focused on first. But it’s not even the best part! At the end of a workday guided by frustration I feel satisfied and relaxed.
(Ghasp!)
You know what makes us feel tired? Forcing focus. You know what doesn’t work at all? Forcing focus. You know what exhausts you by the end of the day? Ignoring the tensions in your body until they spread so much that you are a lump of tension. Getting angry is a huge energy waster too.
But when you listen to your frustration and nip all that waste in the bud, you get more done, are more relaxed and can finally (and easily!) lead that balanced life you crave. I have hobbies and side-projects I work on every day after my work day. There’s plenty of energy for friends and family. And then there’s even time and energy left over for myself!
Frustration is my favourite emotion because it keeps me happy, healthy and sane. But don’t just believe me. Give it a try. Take your frustration for a spin and balance out your life too.