You’ve tried one (or even all – kudos!) of the emotional hygiene techniques. You get it. Emotional hygiene really is important. You did the Yoga and tapped away and even spent an entire hour with your frustration but it’s still there! Why doesn’t it work for you?
It actually does, but when you feel an emotion often and regularly, it becomes a habit. Your brain learns to associate it with a lot of events in your life and the emotion is triggered faster when similar events happen.
Anxiety and shame are emotions that like to build up in us because they are the ones we really don’t like so we ignore them hard! If you tap on a pent-up emotion once or even twice, even for an hour, it will help but it won’t be enough. Emotions you’ve had for years or even decades have become a part of your daily life. Releasing them fully takes time.
The good news: It won’t take years to release those emotions. But it does take longer than you might expect. If you use tapping, set aside enough time to do as many tapping videos on the subject until you actually feel some relief. Yes, this can take an hour every week. Every day if you have the time. And if you feel the anger rising right now, that’s just your resistance to change and here’s a tapping video for that.
You can also do an emotional reset. It’s not exactly a short cut because there is no such thing. You have to feel those emotions and get into the habit of feeling them so you stop being so scared when they come up. So you don’t dismiss, ignore or suppress them but just feel them for two minutes and move on.
Your emotions are your guidance system. They’re not going anywhere and learning how to use them well is a life skill. But there is a way to hit the reset button on those unhelpful pent-up emotions that hold you back.
Emotional Reset
This practice is not a daily habit. You do it once, twice, maybe three times a year. Whenever you need to. I’ve done an emotional reset twice so far and it’s my favourite way to release emotions like anxiety, fear and shame. Here’s how it works:
- Take time off. Really take time off. Decide that you are going to spend these hours or days on releasing emotions and nothing else. Make no plans. I don’t know how long it will take you to release pent-up emotions and you might have to repeat the practice. What’s important though is that you relax and allow yourself to focus on this.
- Then on those days tap on the pent-up emotion. Which one? Shame, fear, anxiety, guilt, sadness… Pick the first one that comes to mind and start there. If another emotion flares up, move on to a tapping session about that emotion.
- KEEP ON GOING UNTIL YOU FEEL RELIEF or so tired that you’re all out of emotions. Take a break. Then repeat or decide that it’s enough for the day.
- When you’re done for the day do whatever you feel like doing. Watch a movie, read a book, do your favourite Yoga session, stare unseeingly at the wall, cry, go to bed at 7:30. It’s all good.
- The next day, repeat.
It took me 4 days the first time I decided to reset my emotions and to this day it is the best practise I have ever done. Seriously. It felt like going back to a calm and relaxed me I couldn’t even remember.
Did I stop feeling fear, anxiety and shame? No, but now I can handle all my uncomfortable emotions with emotional hygiene. I can get rid of frustration with a ten-minute tapping video. It’s part of my daily emotions management routine. None of my uncomfortable emotions cripple me any more because they no longer escalate.
For example, even though I still experience strong anger sometimes, I haven’t shouted at anyone since I reset my emotions. Even fear is manageable! The other day I had a panic attack and my brain just automatically distracted me. I only realised a few hours later that I’d had a panic attack.
A reset gets your emotional levels so far down, that the chain reactions triggered by emotions no longer overwhelm you. You can pause and practise self-awareness instead of losing control.
I did this emotional reset twice. The first time I spent 4 days releasing emotions. The second time it took two days. I don’t plan on doing another one but when an old uncomfortable emotion rears its head I spend however long it takes to release it. Usually about an hour.
I might do another emotional reset at some point in the future. Who knows. For now, I practise daily emotional hygiene and self-awareness to stay balanced.
If I could do this, so can you. You’ve already taken the first step: You just learned the how to do it. Why not take the next step right now? Either schedule your first emotional reset or start smaller and pick an emotional hygiene practise. Whatever you decide to do next, now that you are aware of your options, you are already on your way!