Emotional hygiene techniques are daily practices that help our bodies return to an emotional base level faster. When you experience an emotion, like fear or anger, the amygdala (part of your brain) triggers chemical chain reactions in your body. The emotion itself only takes 2 minutes if it is handled well, but the body still needs to discharge the chemicals, which can take hours.
When you feel a certain emotion often, the chemicals it triggers accumulate in your body until the emotion becomes dominant or even overwhelming. Emotional hygiene is essential to keep ourselves at healthy base levels. Find out more on how and why it works here. If you are ready to dive into the practice, you are in the right place.
Emotional hygiene techniques are preventive, meaning they help us keep healthy base levels. If you have felt an emotion for so long, that it has become a habit, chronic or it feels like a part of your identity, you might want to do an emotional reset, too.
Daily habits vs list of favourites
There are two ways to incorporate emotional hygiene techniques into your daily lives. Pick two and tag them onto habits you already have. If routines are not for you, no problem. Make a list of your favourite techniques and choose whichever you feel like doing in the moment.
How do you know which ones to choose? Start with the most fun and/or the easiest sounding techniques. Emotional hygiene is a life skill, like brushing your teeth. You do it every single day for the rest of your life. So make it easy and fun.
Also, it’s normal that different techniques will work better for you at different times in your life. When you notice that the habit you chose becomes difficult or boring, return to the list and find something new. It does not matter which of these techniques you use. What matters is that you practise consistently to stay grounded.
The techniques
Tapping/EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)
You tap with your fingers on ten acupuncture points on your face and body to release uncomfortable emotions. Some tapping instructors use mantras and affirmations but you can also just tap the points.
When you start out, it might be useful to tap along with a video or take a class. YouTube has a lot of free videos to choose from. Just search for “tapping” plus the emotion you want to release.
My favourite channel is Tapping with Brad and he has a video on pretty much everything, including on what tapping is. Different instructors have their own style. Take your time you find one you like.
Guided Meditation
Another way to release emotions is by following along with this guided meditation. It takes about three minutes and is one of the key exercises I teach in Self-Awareness – The Take Action Course.
Feeling every emotion is how you handle it in the moment so it doesn’t build up even more. Reconnecting with our bodies can be difficult for some people. If that is you, use the meditation first with emotions you recognise easily.
If you have an uncomfortable emotion often, especially fear and anger, practise with low levels first. After a while you will be able to feel even strong versions of the emotions. Practise good-feeling emotions too so you’ll be more likely to notice them in future.
Feel Your Emotions
Check in with Yourself
Acknowledging emotions and feelings already lessens their impact. Check in with yourself several times a day and make it a habit to answer the question: How do I feel right now?
If you have trouble remembering your check-ins, try How We Feel. The free app allows you to keep track of your emotions and feelings during the day. You can also set reminders and analyse a summarty to find out if a certain situation, person or task triggers specific emotions.
Movement
Uncomfortable emotions like fear or anger are very stressful for the body. They increase the heartbeat, raise the blood pressure and put stress on the cardiovascular system. Daily movement helps the body clear the chemicals causes by these chain reactions.
You can exercise, if you want to but it’s not necessary. Gentle and mindful movement practises like Yoga, Qigong and Thai Chi are effective ways to calm down again. Or simply go for a ten minute walk outside, ideally among trees.
If you don’t have a movement habit yet, start small. Once you get used to your movements of choice, you can always extend but at first always keep it easy and fun.
For a quick reset during the day, shake your body for a few minutes. Shaking resets our nervous system and relaxes us almost immediately. A couple of minutes of a full body shake are enough to get you out of any difficult emotion.
Music
Music is a powerful connector to our emotions. Often, we use it to stay in the same mood without even realising that we are doing it. For example, if you feel sad and listen to sad songs, you stay sad because the music keeps re-triggering the emotion.
In order to release an emotion we first have to feel it, so using music to do so if you struggle with other techniques, is a great way. Just make sure you also then move on and let go. With all of the following techniques pick one, maximum two, songs to feel the emotion and then follow it up with either soothing or upbeat music.
Listen, sing and dance
I have go-to songs for different emotions now. For example, if I want to really feel sadness, I will listen and often sing along to Fix You by Coldplay. Build your own list of songs for various emotions. Listening is good, but singing along and/or dancing to the music is even better because you experience the emotion fully.
Have a list for positive emotions too so you can practise them dare my two favourites for joy and empowerment. The lyrics do not actually matter. It’s more important how a song makes you feel. And if you want to transition from one emotion to another, Shake It Off by Taylor Swift is perfect.
Swamping
Dancing is a form of movement, but the way Mama Gena teaches it is unique. She calls the process “swamping” and you can read more on her website here. The idea is to use music to really allow yourself to feel and embody an uncomfortable emotion.
Let’s say you are angry. Make a playlist. Start with an angry song and dance in any way that feels good. If you also feel sad pick a sad song next. Finish swamping with a hopeful or happy song.
Breathwork
Our breath calms us down or energises us because breathing directly influences our nervous system. Breathwork is a term for different breathing exercises to regulate emotional states and the nervous system.
When I started out, I practised breathwork with the free app breathwrk (not a typo). I used it several times a day because the exercises are fun and short. The app also allows you to set reminders.
Alternatively, you can search for instructors on YouTube. Make sure to look for beginner exercises and always practise breathwork at first when you feel calm.
For people with anxiety, using breathing exercises can actually worsen fear and panic attacks. Watch your reactions to the exercises carefully and if you feel discomfort stop immediately.
Gratitude/Appreciation/Spirituality/Faith
If you are a spiritual person, writing lists of gratitude and appreciation or praying daily are fantastic ways to ground yourself. Keep your lists in journals or on your phone. Note down the things, people, and events you are grateful for or appreciate. Start small with 3-5 items a day and if you have trouble getting started, try this trick: What if everything and everyone you didn’t appreciate today would disappear tomorrow?
Crying
In her book Refuse to Choose Barbara Sher writes how she used crying as a daily habit during a difficult period of her life. Every morning she would take a few minutes to cry. Then she’d wash her face and get on with her day. Crying is the emotional hygiene technique you were born with. It is a fantastic stress reliever because you literally wash out stress hormones through your tears.
It only has this effect if you can cry in peace, though. Pick a time and place when you feel safe and let it all out. Breathe as best as you can and relax into the tears. It’s alright. Your brain is simply releasing unhelpful chemicals. It’s like going to the bathroom. You do not want to hold anything in!
If you were taught that crying is bad or have become convinced over the years that you “cannot cry”, here is your friendly reminder that of course you can. Unless there is a physical problem with your tear ducts, you were literally born to cry. So relax and let your body do its thing.
Emotion Release Hour
If an emotion is bothering you for a few days in a row, do an emotion release hour. Clear an hour in your schedule and make sure you won’t be disturbed. This is as important as a doctor’s appointment.
Choose your favourite and most effective emotional hygiene techniques and think of the best order. For example, tap through the emotion until you feel better and then amp up the relief or joy with dancing. Or take the time to do a longer yoga class, go for a lengthy walk or have a good cry. When you are done with your emotion, do something fun afterwards.
Emotional hygiene for life
Emotions are an intricate part of our lives. They are incredibly important for our survival and our well-being. When they are handled well, they are also the perfect guidance system for a fantastic life.
Practising emotional hygiene techniques every day keeps your emotions at a healthy level. You feel grounded and the occasional surge of fear or anger does not bother you for long and you still think clearly.
Emotional hygiene techniques are as important as brushing your teeth but you can make them much more fun! Pick the techniques you like the most. Life is meant to be fun so enjoy your new practises.